Thursday, January 24, 2013

A few thoughts from Steve Blair

      As I was scanning my online dating profile (yes he did) many things crossed my mind.  Here I am 40 y/o and have been realizing that dating is getting harder and harder these days????  Then it dawned on me that the older I get, the narrower the selection gets.  I now have to meet 50 crazy, over medicated, under medicated or under spanked women before finding 1 good one.  I've been looking heavily into astrology for guidance ever since a friend did a write up for me a year ago in September.  I was out fishing when she emailed it to me, so I ended up getting the write up late in the month.  One line in particular stood out to me and hit me over the head.  It was "September's first week. If you already have your children, at least one will likely have news to share, or your child will do something to make you proud."  in that week of September my oldest daughter got a hold of me for the first time in 16 years.  Also this was in the same reading "You may need to travel a short distance over the weekend of September 10-11 too, most likely for romantic fun, and if so, it's a great idea. Alternatively, you may be on the road to attend a wedding, birthday party, or other social event, and again, you'll be glad you accepted the invitation." I was invited to my 20 year class reunion and was all set to go when the plans fell through Sept. 11.  There was several other smaller things that were said that matched time and dates closely, and thoroughly convinced me I needed to dig deeper into astrology.
      I do know from painful experiences long past that me as an Aries/Taurus needs to avoid Cancers.  I now know that my fire/earth sign does not mix well with the water sign.  Recently I learned that for 40 years I have been wrong about Aquarius being a water sign.  Come to find out it is an air sign and I seem to get along with them quit nicely (I will update next week after my visit to a friend).  I will say this in defense of the women I have dated in the past, only a few of them qualified as crazy/psycho bitch status, the rest I will take the blame of being a first rate asshole.  I  seem to fall under the friend zone very nicely with high compliments in that aspect. 
       Ok getting back to the "DO NOTS" social networks I have come to realize are taboo to relationships.  I don't recommend you post anything personal for the world to see, especially if you are mad, drunk, high, in love, in lust, horny, or not in the mood.  I have found out the hard way that those words are almost as hard to take back as a drunken tattoo.  It also opens up your personal life and kills the mystery relationships need in order to survive.  I lost over 75 friends on facebook within a month of dating one girl???  Also you may want to try and spend more time with your girl, then your computer.  Women (and some sensitive men) get jealous over the smallest of things.  BTW yes I made these fatal mistakes miserably in the past.     In fact everyone loves my words of advice BECAUSE of how many mistakes I have made.
         I do know appreciation of the small things goes a long way, ONLY if the person you are appreciating is on the same level as you are.   This brings me to my theory about soul mates, where I don't believe so much it's a person more so then a time in two peoples lives when there BOTH ready to love and accept each other for who they are without trying to change one another.<----superb run on sentence.  I recently dated a woman that I was able to connect with both physically, mentally, socially, ect ect.  The only problem was she was at a stage in her life that I had been at roughly 12-14 years before.  It was very scary how our lives mirrored the other so precisely.  I saw the anger inside her she had for her ex, and how it affected her life.  I had the very same anger for my ex wife, and carried that anger for many years.  It got in the way of life so many times.  I didn't learn about the magical word of forgiveness until many years later.  Had I known about the true definition while dealing with my ex and all her games, I would have never lost my daughter.  Everyone mistakenly thinks forgiving someone is letting them off the hook for what they did bad, when that's the furthest from the truth.  Forgiveness is you taking any and all power away from someone else that they hold over you.  One second you are mad, spiteful, resentful, or anything other then content towards another person, is a second they took from you and did not deserve.  Everyone claims they forgive another person, until they see that person or start talking about the past.  I watched a simple smile on her exes face bother her all day long.  Bottom line is I feel it's important to find someone who is at the same point in there life as you are, otherwise you risk the chance of reinventing the wheel.
        That leads me to my next big mistake I always make.  DON'T TRY TO FIX PEOPLE!!!!  Hang up your captain save a hoe cape.  If there broken when they get there, odds are they will be broken when they leave.  When you meet someone you need to look long and hard at them right off the bat, and either love them for all there good and bad.  We all do it in some form or another in life, just know it's not good.  You may as well say to them "I love you honey, IF you work out more, or made more money, or got a boob job, weren't so psycho".  I will admit that a good woman completes a good man and makes for an unstoppable pair.  But seeing as you were single for a reason going into the relationship, means you need to worry about you, not them.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I think everyone has experienced the on again off again roller coaster relationships?  You find yourself happy and blissful one second, next second your wondering WTF?  I went through 5 years of  that crap where she moved out 14 times in 14 months always a few days before her period.  She stayed gone anywhere from a week to 3 weeks.  I went from being number one, to public enemy number one over night.  If you see that happening, stop and evaluate the situation.  If there is drugs in the picture then that right there could be the main culprit.  Prescription or illegal (420 is actually good for the situation so don't count that as a drug).  I dropped the ball the first time I went through that hell.  Lost a multi million dollar business and my best friend.  When recently I started to see the same thing with a girl I got close with.  It instantly set of

Friday, January 4, 2013

Relationship DO NOTS with Christine Carey

Gay all day :)
I know what every man out there is thinking being I’m a “DO NOT” female contributor: Here’s
another angry girl who’s mad with some dude, trying to retaliate by telling men the “DO NOTS” of a relationship. Look, I don’t give a crap  that you leave the toilet seat up or have exclusive “tug-of-war-time" showering sessions. I've seen my fair share of shitty and gross eating etiquette by men in every way imaginable. You know, the real life treasure hunt you travel around the fucking equator for as if you need a map, coordinates and a compass to guide you. Hint: Between legs.

Now, before you get upset and decide to pack up your balls and leave, know one thing: Don’t get your balls all tangled in a knot and butt hurt.I’m sure there’s a mastermind out there somewhere. You may enjoy this more than you think considering it involves one of your favorite images during your daily activities or “chafing sessions.” This is the “DO NOTS” of the lesbian dating world. If You think shit gets crazy being a man dating a woman, you may tolerate her shit and feel lucky after this.

Being that I’ve known my entire life I was gay, but wanted to fit in, the above comments I know from experience. The entire feminist thing can be thrown out the window as well as the “she got fucked over” or the “you haven’t had me yet” as the reason for my homosexuality. It’s not a choice, some people don’t get it.

Straight men seem to understand more when I put it like this: The way you like women, is the way I like women. The way you like men, is the way I like men. It’s almost as if you put a neurological synaptic misfire back on route. You will know this happens if they puke a little after the "men liking men comment."


OK. I’m starting with life-saving DO NOTS in the hopes of saving a lesbian or two. Veteran lesbians (hahaha) or “Gold Star’s” (never been with a man) already know this shit, and I wish I KNEW this shit when I came out. I would have been a lot happier with one ex in particular.

If you don’t enjoy blood and or have an OCD, it’s very simple: The bean is above the wound and there’s also a cure called Tampax.DO NOT use “I’m on my period” as an excuse to not have sex. Serial killers have been dealing with bloody messes their entire careers with OCD’s and as for enjoyment? Become a vampire or start a future in “Crime Scene Analysis.” Problem solved.

DO NOT ( I repeat) DO NOT EVER take the last tampon. Lesbians will end up cycling together and if you’re the stud and pull that type of crap, she’ll be writing your epitaph. Just agree with anything she says and prepare for excessive drinking. Then invest in a membership at Costco (tampons in bulk) and learn the psychology of selective hearing. It’s what men do when they want to live.

DO NOT ever be late on your period if you’re regular and have a girlfriend. Especially if you’re announcing you’re a “lesbian.” You may need to update your Facebook status to “interested in men and women.” Then invest in a minivan, because you’re ass got knocked up.

That brings me to a huge DO NOT.DO NOT be a hypocrite and call bisexuals confused or judge them for being with a male or a female off and on. I’m so sick of this stigma that straight and gay people put out there about bisexuals. Now listen here: Equality, remember? Bisexuals are simply misunderstood.DO NOT call them confused as you’re wrong. They simply love with the heart, not the anatomy.

DO NOT act like a lesbian or like you’re bisexual if you aren’t.It’s extremely annoying and it’s pathetic as a tactic used to get attention. Playing with someone’s emotions is wrong. There are plenty of insecure whore’s just like you out there to make regretful YouTube videos with in order to catch a boy: Reference #1:YouTube and Reference #2:Google/regretfulwhores.

DO NOT ever believe the “am I fat? I won’t get offended,” line EVER! Either you end up dog house, or trying to have sex becomes a fucking full time job. Just tell her “NO,” or you getting her fully naked will be like dragging a vampire into the freggin’ sun.

DO NOT FUCKING EVER RECYCLE TOYS. That shit is so disgusting. I don’t give a dildo how it’s “dishwasher safe,” in my book that’s grounds for termination. Being a lesbian gets expensive, deal with it.

DO NOT (if you’re dating a stud) take the last pair of boxers. You will need a bible and the hand of god to protect you if you force her to wear your thong to work all day. Unless you want to piss her off of course
J

There are so many DO NOTS when it comes to the world of lesbians, that I figured maybe if the closet dwellers had some information they would crack the door open. I may have scared them to nail the damn door shut, or hopefully the courage to knock it down.

There is one thing that’s great about being a lesbian. You have someone who understands you emotionally and knows the pressures of being a woman in society today. You have a best friend to spend the rest of your life with that cares so much. The one thing that’s hard for lesbians to do is not care. Unless of course, you just did any of the DO NOTS above. Then you’re kind of fucked and I’ll pray for you
J


Thursday, January 3, 2013

This fabulous homo has arrived!

Yup i have arrived people! let me tell you i have never had a relationship last more then 3 months, im happy in the beginning an come the 3 rd month the honeymoon phase is over and either im completely annoyed by them or I find out they have cheated on me, done drugs behind my back, or CHEATED ON ME! seriously what is wrong with me picking terrible men LOL

Well I am here to bring you the DON'T S of homosexual dating ;) you'll be amazed at how many things you can do wrong.

so here's a short list just to help you get a clue on things not to do. We will get more into detail in later posts.

1.Don't sleep with them the first date! (let me tell you a big no no lol)

well i guess that's the biggest thing! Dont sleep with them. Wait at least a couple of dates to before you even step it up that far lol

Well there are a lot of things and I am sure we will bring up the many things that you dont want to do!

2. NEVER let them take the place of your friends. Friends should always be a priority first. Then you don't lose your identity

Trust me you dont want to lose your identity when your dating someone. If you lose your identity (which i have done before) you end up losing your boyfriend at some point.  WELL we will be back at some point with some more detailed tips on how NOT to date the wrong way...maybe by following some of these tips you will find that perfect someone and know what not to do or you may end up single who knows either way you will learn something LOL

~Fairy King